CAR USED PARTS : I called SIL #1, who has been having financial difficulties lately due to hubbyhaving emergency surgery and being out of work for 6 months. However, they hada large safety net. Anyway, I called her first because I would have understoodif she could not chip in. I asked if she wanted us to go in 3 ways and spend$25 a piece for a new seat (was thinking of the Century accel for approx. $75).She said absolutely yes, great idea, etc. No problem at all. Called SIL #2, whose husband is always bragging about how much money he makes,blah blah blah, and she told me NO, she doesn't even spend that much on hergirls car seats, she always buys them from yard sales, they can't afford tochip in $25, and it would come out of her grocery money. While I know you cannever judge another's financial situation, this is pretty much bull. Theysomehow manage to do other things with no problem. I told her I would neverfeel comfortable putting Jess in a car seat from a yard sale. I was shockedthat she buys hers there, because she's a very intelligent woman. She said thatshe always calls for the recall information, but I didn't think to mention thatshe wouldn't get *future* recall info, and that she'd have no way of knowing ifit had been involved in an accident. She then suggested I just bring up my ownseat and leave it at MIL's; trust me, this would NOT go over well. Sorry, MIL,your seat is not good enough, so I'm leaving my own.
CAR USED PARTS : Fast forward to the next day, when we all went up to MIL's for dinner. I hadtried to buy the seat that day, but hadn't found the right one. In the middleof dinner MIL says to me "Oh, don't worry about getting me a car seat next timeyou're at a yard sale, BIL (name) and SIL (name)#2 brought me up one of theirold ones, and it's sure better than the one I have now". I was absolutely, literally speechless. I'm so mad about this, it's keeping meawake at night (silly, I know). But first of all, it was MY idea and my otherSIL and I (and of course our husbands) were really looking forward to doingthis for my MIL, as she does so much for our kids. So SIL and BIL #2 totallysnatched this away from us. And, it doesn't even adress the fact that this seatmost likely came from a yard sale, and I made it clear that I wouldn't put mykid in a used seat. I realize they were probably trying to solve the problem,but it made it worse. Also, the seat is likely close to 6 years old (though Idon't actually know this, it was their first daughters, who is almost 5, and itwas likely used).
CAR USED PARTS : So hubby suggested I try to find some info about how rotten used seats are andsend it along to my SIL via email. I'm rotten at confrontation, so it's worth ashot. It won't get me anywhere, but at least it will make me feel better. If you read this whole thing, thanks. Oh, and how would you have felt, out ofcuriosity?How about involving *nobody* else, showing up one day with a new seat (or onefrom a trusted neighbor or friend and checked out via the manurfacturer'swebpage), and be done with it.It would have been the best approach in the first place, but, perhaps you canstill present MIL with an even *better* (new) carseat, and make some excuse forneeding the other one for occassional trips hauling your kids' friends, orsomething. I dunno, maybe that's more games. But it sure sounds like, in yourfamily, the simpler you keep things and the fewer people you involve inanything, the better.
CAR USED PARTS : I'm with Banty. If you need an excuse, borrow herlatest carseat, then show up with a new one. Whoops,I ran your old one over with my car, Sorry!!!"Thing is, we really can't afford the $75 on our own right now, but we couldcertainly come up with $25 or $30!!!! And, my other BIL and SIL really wantedto go in on it with us. I do understand your point, though. It's really just this one SIL. I've thought about just leaving my own seatthere, since it's the one SIL gave her and not the one MIL bought on her own.Haven't resolved the issue yet, though.Well, then, can you swing the $50? Assuming the first SIL doesn't get bent outof shape of it's not a three-way split.Y'know, there's afford and then there's "afford". Your SILs demonstrated thatpretty well. It's a matter of priorities. One with a tight budget realizesit's an important item (perhaps meaning, not eating out or using a servicablebut outdated winter coat another year, or whatever), and the one with $$$ isjust cheap. Take a page or two from SIL #1 here and put it in your book.
CAR USED PARTS : Yes, we could definitely split it, and had planned on doing that when the rugwas pulled out from under us at dinner that night! I SO wish I had thought to say, after she told us about her new used seat, "Well then I guess I'll just take back the brand new car seat that (the 4 ofus) bought you today. Oh well". If you go here: and look under thesection on how to determine if your carseat is safe, you will find:Make sure the safety seat is less than 10 years old (preferably lessthan five) and has never been used in a crash. You can't be sure aboutthe history of a used safety seat unless you got it from a friend orrelative. You will need the detailed instruction booklet (it can beordered from the manufacturer if it is missing) to check that the safetyseat has all of its parts and to find out how to use it correctly. Checkfor possible damage, such as cracks in the plastic, frayed straps, stiffbuckles or harness adjusters.
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